TITLE: Yes, You Are Trans Enough: My Transition from Self-Loathing to Self-Love
AUTHOR: Mia Violet
SERIES: N/A
RELEASED: June 2017; Jessica Kingsley Publishers
GENRE: Memoir
FORMAT: Physical
KEY INFO: Memoir, Self-Help, LGBTQ education, self-acceptance, empowerment
REPRESENTATION: Trans Woman
CONTENT NOTICES: (TBC)
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When I first came across Yes, You are Trans Enough, I knew that it was going to stand out in the busy crowd of transgender memoirs as something different and special. The colourful cover was not only bright, bold and charismatic, just like it’s author Mia Violet, but it reached out a welcoming hand with its affirmative declaration that, yes, you are trans enough.
The overwhelming anxiety over whether you are “trans enough” to be transgender is a far more common concern than many of us realize and sadly it results in many trans people struggling in silence, afraid to talk about how they feel or admit to themselves (let alone anybody else) that they might be trans.
In this honest, witty and comforting memoir, Mia shares with us her experiences of struggling with those exact feelings and how she began to overcome them during her journey from ‘self-loathing to self-love’. From a botched coming out to her parents that had her running straight back into the closet at the age of 14 and living through years of denial that left her feeling depressed, hopeless and with shatteringly low self-esteem, to confronting the reality of her gender identity with the help of her loving partner and beginning the obstacle-ridden course of transitioning, right up to the day when Mia stopped living for others and started to love herself for the shining star that she is.
Yes, You are Trans Enough effortlessly blends together the many facets of living life as a trans woman to produce an account that is at all times raw and realistic, whilst always managing to stay light and entertaining. Trans people are no strangers to countless hardships and Mia definitely doesn’t shy away from speaking openly about the bullying, violence, fear, homelessness, and years spent hating herself. But her memoir is also brilliantly funny, hopelessly endearing and full of joy.
I loved that each chapter skillfully wove together Mia’s own personal account of transition whilst also relating it to wider issues such as the bathroom debate, access to medical treatment and NHS pathways, transphobia, the importance of positive representation in fiction, and the rampant lies about trans people in the media. In fact, right at the outset of the book Mia states that it is her hope that Yes, You are Trans Enough will combat misinformation, myths, stereotypes, and lies about trans people by revealing the realities of one trans woman’s life. What she goes to great lengths to demonstrate throughout the book is that transitioning is a difficult decision that many of us go to great pains to avoid. Nobody looks at all the potentially negative consequences of coming out and transitioning, such as various forms of violence, unemployment and/or job insecurity, homelessness, and the loss of your family and friends, and thinks ‘gee, that sure looks like a real fun thing to do‘. Nobody pretends to be trans for the hell of it, or with the aim of tricking their way into different bathrooms, or makes up their mind about it over lunch one day. Rather, it is a decision that we do not take lightly and which some of us are too scared to take at all.
But fear not friends, because Mia is here to help. Yes, You are Trans Enough is written in a way that is accessible to all so regardless of if you are a cisgendered person (someone who isn’t trans) who wants to learn more about trans people, an ally who wants to support the work of trans people, a service provider/company/organisation looking to make your work more trans-friendly, a trans person looking for an account which is full of positivity and love, or someone who thinks that they might be trans or want to transition, then this is the book for you!
What this book isn’t:
- Saying that everybody is trans
- Encouraging people to jump headfirst into transitioning, especially medical transition
- An account which depicts a “unified trans experience”
- Focusing on the idea of “becoming” a woman or only focuses on medical transition
What this book is:
- Encouraging you to give yourself permission to explore your own feelings and gender identity
- Challenging the idea of what being trans “looks like” and that there is a linear narrative to coming out, transitioning and being trans
- Combating misinformation, myths, stereotypes, and lies about trans people
- Recognising that there are lots of different types of trans people, ways to be trans and trans experiences
- Light and enjoyable with lots of information about different issues affecting trans people, written in a way that is accessible to all
- An account of one trans woman’s life
- An affirming story, a declaration of self-love and a welcome for you to do the same
About the Author
Mia is a bisexual trans woman who has been blogging about her transition on her website and on twitter for over 2 years. She is based in the UK and has written articles for The Huffington Post, Bustle, and The F-Word. She is a figurehead for all things self-care, positivity, trans rights, and nerdy. Yes, You are Trans Enough is Mia’s debut book which is available for purchase on the 21st June 2017.
My sincere thanks go out to Jessica Kingsley Publishers for providing me with an advanced reader copy of Yes, You are Trans Enough in exchange for an honest review.
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Woohoo!! I am so happy books like this exist!
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This sounds so wonderful! I’m definitely going to have to grab a copy.
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this sounds like such a great book that so many people are going to be thankful for and wishing it existed sooner
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Excellent review! This sounds like an important read that lives up to the title. I I like how you listed what the book is and isn’t at the end – great way to do a summary and clear up any misconceptions people might have about the book.
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Thanks so much for introducing me to this book! My daughter recently transitioned, and I’ll admit that it’s making me realize a lot of my own preconceived notions about gender. I start to want to encourage her to be “more” feminine, as if there are rules to gender—I’ve realized I have to let go of that. Sounds like this book would be a great read for me.
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Hi Nicole – thanks so much for commenting. Please do read the book if you get a chance! There are also lots and lots of resources out there for parents, and trans young people, who can provide support for you both 🙂
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this book. If I see it pop up on Hoopla, or as an ebook special, I’ll certainly give it a read. I know I will like it for your list of things “this book isn’t”. I went to college with a transgender student and we became friends because of a mutual love of Punk Rock, but I didn’t meet anyone else transgender (that I knew of) until my son went to college, and now he has two transgender friends. I love the way in his group of friends it’s nothing much out of the ordinary. I hope someday it will be like that everywhere. I have been following Stef Sanjati, https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkQJ4YUx54LB23tgOt-Tx-w for over a year, now, as she tranistions. I stumbled across her channel when I was researching something for work that led me to her Waardensburg Syndrome video, which was serendipitous because it had nothing to do with what I was researching and nothing to do with being transgendered. Also, another great review. Thanks for sharing it. 👍✨
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This book sounds wonderful! I honestly might pick it up for one of my best friends. She is a trans woman and has been wanting to begin her transition since I’ve met her, but has been held back by fear and cost. I think that she’d really appreciate this book. Thank you for such a thoughtful and thorough review!
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Thanks Jaime! Hopefully it would be a helpful book for your friend, its a great resource for self-affirmation, friendly encouragement and self-love.
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